Written on my hand is
Thur after-school lit
Brian Ex Book
Math's Sac
I know what all of it means except for the bit about brian. I don't know any Brian's.. So as Adam said, school's been pretty average, though being at school with Adam has been getting further and further from what average usually is. These dreams are effecting him man, he says he's okay with not sleeping now because of the nightmares, i know that's the case, but it's not just that he's okay with not sleeping, he's afraid of it, of the nightmares.
Every day, i swear he comes to school looking slightly more tired than the day before, he fell asleep in History the other day, i know History isn't the greatest subject, but Adam's usually pretty alert, all the time.. He wants to do well in year 12, and if he doesn't stop sleeping, i don't know what's going to happen to his VCE..
I've been contemplating what to do after VCE and my mind seems to really want me for some reason to put all the effort i've put in to VCE to waste and pick up an apprenticeship as an electrician, i don't know what drew me to that, i guess it seems like the apprenticeship with the least amount of phisical strain to be put on my body, because i'm not exactly what you'd call a tank.
This whole electrician thing is pissing me off though because I feel like if i do that, then my enter score will go to complete waste, and i'm not even sure i really want to do it because if I did, i wouldn't be trying to get a good enter score (university entry score), i'd just be looking for an apprenticeship and trying to pass year 12, which of course I still want to do.
I just don't know what I want to do with my life, there are so many things and i'm yet to find anything that i'm 100% passionate about whatever happens, and i really want to find that, whatever it is.
I'm going to be keeping an eye on Adam, I think the others are too, his psychiatrist has given him some pills so he can sleep at night, but they don't seem to be having any effect on his alertness in class or just how tired he looks in general, what can I really do though? I'm not going to force him to take them if he's not and if he is and they aren't working, what else can we do?
I talked about this with Adam today,
he said it's okay if i post this, and that this is what the blog is supposed to be about,
how we're feeling, well i'm worried man, you gotta keep thinking about the future man...
Good Luck Adam,
Shaun.
Dude. I'm just so very tired these days, but I really don't want to go to sleep. It's not that I have the nightmares all time, it's just that their always there. Like some lingering presence in the back ground. Watching, constantly watching, and waiting.
ReplyDeleteSo patient. So close.