Oh wow. Seriously, I had forgotten about this place. God knows it ended up useless. Yeah, nightmares and stuff have been in recession, hell, since I had to focus on my end of year exams I haven't had much time for thinking (I know that sounds moronic, but in all honesty, it's true exams+ thinking don't work).
So yeah, here I am now, thanks the Ed for reminding me of this. And I've thought of a use for it as well, now that I kind of don't need.
Firstly, thought. I must say I am sick of pandering to people anymore. For that reason, I've removed everyone but Ed from the blog posters list. I kind of forced them into this and they haven't touched the blog in a while, so no real point.
Anyway, moving on from that. I've decided to use this blog to write a story. Basically, me and Ed as he mention, are going to do a group write here. It should be fun, though we have no idea what to write about.
On a further notice....
Wow this blog turned out to be useless.
Adam
2011-12-08
A new Chapter
Well.. it's been six months since Adam's problem. He's been slowly recovering, jsut as the rest of us have since we finished VCE. And yeah, we procrastinated real good for this blog and life in general.
Anyway, this blog has truly died down... and I'm now using it for my own neferious purposes. I suppose. Well, Adam has always expressed interest in doing a group-write, so I might as well start us off, unless he has a better idea (which he's bound to...)
Anyway, this blog has truly died down... and I'm now using it for my own neferious purposes. I suppose. Well, Adam has always expressed interest in doing a group-write, so I might as well start us off, unless he has a better idea (which he's bound to...)
2011-06-28
To fall back to old habits
There I was. Standing in the centre of the ocean. Lost in thought. Floating above a school of fish I just stood there. Standing on the ocean, waiting for it to swallow me whole. Or, not.
Sorry for the month long delay of posting or what not. Been busy, but I also didn't find a need to post. The dreams had receded back into a oblivion for some time now.
So I stopped taking that pill like the other day and the first thing that happened was this really odd dream. Not a nightmare mind you, this was beautiful, so serene.
And when I awoke, I was standing on the ocean. Looking into the see. Where I saw a beating heart, under a school of fish. I watched it as it moved up and down and a calmness swept over me.
And then I was somewhere else.
And
Where there was Silence, I found music. Where there were nightmares I found dreams. Where there was despair, I found hope. I saw the truth in all lies, the light hiding in the darkness. And when I was met with pain, I knew it wouldn't last, so I waited for the serenity to arrive again.
Sorry for the month long delay of posting or what not. Been busy, but I also didn't find a need to post. The dreams had receded back into a oblivion for some time now.
So I stopped taking that pill like the other day and the first thing that happened was this really odd dream. Not a nightmare mind you, this was beautiful, so serene.
And when I awoke, I was standing on the ocean. Looking into the see. Where I saw a beating heart, under a school of fish. I watched it as it moved up and down and a calmness swept over me.
And then I was somewhere else.
And
Where there was Silence, I found music. Where there were nightmares I found dreams. Where there was despair, I found hope. I saw the truth in all lies, the light hiding in the darkness. And when I was met with pain, I knew it wouldn't last, so I waited for the serenity to arrive again.
2011-05-23
Awoken from Reality.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. ~Albert Einstein
I couldn't take it anymore. My body was beginning to fall apart. I needed sleep so I started taking those pills.
And now I'm sleeping. But it's not the right kind of sleep.
I'm missing something. I know I didn't want to have nightmares, but now I just don't dream. And that just feels wrong. It feels as if I'm missing something, loosing something really important.
The basic thing is. Now I just feel vulnerable. The pills put me into a deep sleep where I don't dream or feels. I'm just cut of from reality or imagination. As if I'm in some limbo.
Or maybe that's my new nightmare, to be stuck somewhere between reality and imagination.
Or maybe, just maybe, everything is fake.
And I'm just not willing to accept what really is reality.
‘Cause the reality I may find when I do finally wake up from my reality isn’t safe or happy or acceptable. It’s just supernatural.
It’s also not something I can define. No, that’s wrong, I can define it, I can use all the words in the English language to give it the largest most complex definition possible, but that won’t be enough. Because as much I as can see it, I can’t comprehend and so my definition ultimately becomes meaningless.
So how do I begin to understand it?
Do I go searching for it? Or just open my eyes wider.
And what if my nightmares come back to hunt me.
Where do I go from there?
Missed me?
I know I keep harping on about it - but boy, all that homework and SAC's that are given out in the last year of secondary education (I'm not sure what the American equivalent is... and yes, I'm aware that there are readers from America - and no, I refuse to switch from my British/ Australian English to American English. Confused, yet?) is CRAZY! I mean, come on... we get around 4 hours of homework... nightly, and are expected to chuck several more hours on top to study for the exams that are coming up (yeah... our exam and holiday periods are weird). Anyway, that would explain why I haven't showed up on this blog for a while. 'Procrastinating' right now seems like the worse idea possible. But hey, I'm a 17 year old teenager... it's expected that I procrastinate.
Melbourne's weather... it's becoming even more sullen... like some angsty teenager who can't decide between mood-swings. Last week has been nothing fierece winds, and falling rain (well sorry if I can't make it anymore poetic... you get the Literature kids for that). And the nights are bloody freezing. The best part? We haven't hit winter yet, so it can only get worse.
Anyhow, Adam's problems seem to be worsening - and that's a bad thing with the exams coming up. He seemed even more jumpy at school, and his temper is quickly deteriorating. I'm no psychologist, but even I can see something is wrong. His recent blogs have constantly mentioned nightmares - they must be severe ones if they can disable anybody like that. I've had my share of nightmares, but even so... this can't be good. However, recently he has started taking sleeping pills - with his mind-set though... is this such a good thing? Whatever, I can only comment as a friend, and unfortunately, not as a professional. Hope those nightmares will stop soon (brrr... I'm still getting shivers from your post and my recent nightmare) and that you will fully recover.
P.S. I really don't think drinking alcohol will stop the nightmares. No seriously. Put down that beer bottole. Now.
Melbourne's weather... it's becoming even more sullen... like some angsty teenager who can't decide between mood-swings. Last week has been nothing fierece winds, and falling rain (well sorry if I can't make it anymore poetic... you get the Literature kids for that). And the nights are bloody freezing. The best part? We haven't hit winter yet, so it can only get worse.
Anyhow, Adam's problems seem to be worsening - and that's a bad thing with the exams coming up. He seemed even more jumpy at school, and his temper is quickly deteriorating. I'm no psychologist, but even I can see something is wrong. His recent blogs have constantly mentioned nightmares - they must be severe ones if they can disable anybody like that. I've had my share of nightmares, but even so... this can't be good. However, recently he has started taking sleeping pills - with his mind-set though... is this such a good thing? Whatever, I can only comment as a friend, and unfortunately, not as a professional. Hope those nightmares will stop soon (brrr... I'm still getting shivers from your post and my recent nightmare) and that you will fully recover.
P.S. I really don't think drinking alcohol will stop the nightmares. No seriously. Put down that beer bottole. Now.
2011-05-21
If we lost...
If we lost hope. Or our ability to feel. Our soul and our minds. If we couldn't see, as the fog incompassed us, the darkness that fallowed us, the eyes that constanly watched us. No, the eyeless faces that constantly watched us. If we never recongnised them. Or couldn't tell the normal from the abnormal. How could we perceive the threat all around us, or the darkness that was in ourselves. How quick;ly we are to betray ourselves to them. Without a second thought, for safety for peace, everything we believe or feel. Gone because we are afraid. To quick are we to abadone all hope, reason or logic. To quick are we to betray our love , or goodness our hope. Because of fear of them. As they come. No, the faceless, they've always been here.
Oh god, they're all around me.
What the hell are they?
Oh god, they're all around me.
What the hell are they?
2011-05-16
Pills
So that bitch of mine -the shrink- gave me a bunch of sleeping pills a few weeks ago and since then I've refused to use them.
I don't like the idea of using pills or anything to get to sleep. But I can't go on like this, my head is pounding, my eyes hurt so much and I can't concentrate on anything.
So I'm just generally asking anyone who is reading this. Should I take these pills?
I don't like the idea of using pills or anything to get to sleep. But I can't go on like this, my head is pounding, my eyes hurt so much and I can't concentrate on anything.
So I'm just generally asking anyone who is reading this. Should I take these pills?
2011-05-15
Sleep
I need it. So much. But I can't.
Everytime I close my eyes I get these images or nightmares of them. Looking at me through those sunglasses.
I see them reach for me, try to grab me and I run.
That's all I do now. Just run away, from sleep, from them, from these nightmare's.
Or are they memories?
I can't really tell any more.
Everytime I close my eyes I get these images or nightmares of them. Looking at me through those sunglasses.
I see them reach for me, try to grab me and I run.
That's all I do now. Just run away, from sleep, from them, from these nightmare's.
Or are they memories?
I can't really tell any more.
Infectious...
I remembered waking up with sweat completely covering me. I was breathing heavily, as I had tried to run away from... What was it? Some deep primal fear of all living? Or was it the slightest shadows of madness that was crawling at my mind, as the stress of school built up? I remembered laughing at this absurd notion - school doesn't give you nightmares that had you salvaging what remained of your sanity.
"Leave us alone!" Did I shout that? Or was it the thing in front of me?
I had looked at the alarm clock. I swore quietly. It was only 6:00, another 50 minutes before the it should have rang. It was far too early for this. I didn't need a scare before starting school (as if school was already daunting enough). I sank back into my pillow, as me breath began to slow down again. Closing my eyes, I tried to recall some of the horrors that had plagued me. Like any sane human, I tried to start at the beginning...
That smile again. And that glow.
My eyes snapped open again. It was that girl. I frowned - it was a strange coincidence that she would have been in my dreams. Dreams, for me, rarely repeat themselves again.
That swaying tree next to a stone building. Nearby was another building, only it was cleaner... more modern. Other people in a dull green uniform milled about, talking and constantly moving.
I snorted here. I was dreaming of school. Give me a break... I've already seen enough of it for 6 hours a day, 5 days a week. And sometimes longer now that I'm in Year 12. So... that dream girl had came to the same school as me. What possible interpretations can I possibly gleam from that? It sure would be literally a dream come true... if it was true.
We were walking quietly along a familiar pathway. Faces that were seen everyday were content in their usual business. The girl and I were talking...
...about what? I stared at the darkened ceiling, hoping to glean something from it. What had made us both laugh so happily? So freely...
We rounded to corner to the PAC - the performing arts centre. It was a large building - formerly a gym as my wood teacher had told me once upon a time. Now, it was the hangout of the drama kids. I rolled my eyes at some of their antics as we passed by. Surely throwing random stuff at each other for the thousandth time should have gotten hold. And yet...
Nice dodge, I thought smirking, as a classmate called Raf managed to avoid a sandwich that was thrown from near point-blank range. This thought-by-thought process was taking longer than I anticipated. Everything was familiar. Nothing to suggest why I woke up with such a scare.
The path back to the canteen was once again the same. The same kids. The same chairs. Even the same sense of sheer boredom that was somehow ignored as I was pulled in by the mystery of the girl next to me. More talking. I looked casually to the right and saw the wood room glaring back.
Surely the wood room can't be the source of my nightmares. A madman running out with a chainsaw would be almost comical, if not outright normal (ok, I'm lying - I would be shitting myself, but my friends have already made up too much conspiracies about the wood room for anything to truly surprise me in Dream world). Ah Year 7, good times...
We were at the canteen now. And yet we kept moving. We turned right, passing the toilets and its eternal stench. We were moving back to the common room - where everybody else awaited. Something ancient stirred inside me... and indescribable fear began to strangle me.
The common room... what was so scary about it? Surely there can't be anything worse than the stains inside the microwave (I've seriously got to stop this joking). That's it... it had been too quiet. Especially given how ridiculously loud we Year 12's are.
My hand hesitated on the door handle.
"Is something wrong?" the girl asked. Not wanting to disappoint her, I shook my head and put on an assuring smile before opening the door to the realms of nightmare.
We both froze in terror as everything in the room turned to us as we walked in. Everybody was now nightmare incarnate. Bloodied eyes that were nothing more than gaping red holes in their face. Mouths that were unnaturally big, each threatening to consume anything and everything, eternally held in a terrible grin. Claws had replaced hands... claws that threatened to tear a person's soul out, souls that were soon ripe for consummation.
A person rose out of their chair. In their hands were a sharpened cleaver that still held the blood of its last victim.
"Join us..." the creature breathed.
The rate of my breathing increased again. I felt blood rushing to my legs, carrying vital supplies of oxygen that would allow me to get the fuck out of my mind.
"It's all fake," I repeated in a mantra to myself. "It's all fake."
I got up and turned on the light. Looking into the mirror, I saw a pale faced person staring back. In his eyes, the dream continued...
"Leave us alone!" I shouted. Everybody in the room mimicked me, creating an eerie chorus that grated on my ears. Grabbing the girl's arm, we turned around... only to see there was no door. Then an explosion of pain came.
I fell to the floor, paralyzed. A syringe dropped next to me. A paralyzer... got to give these creatures credit for that, if I wasn't absolutely hoping this would all go away. The creatures rolled me over, as the lead creature stoked its cleaver, its grin never wavering. It moved the sharp side of the blade closer... and closer... to my eyes. I struggled to no avail. Then... the blade descended.
Colours. Never thought I would appreciate them so much. The nightmare had ended. For now.
"Leave us alone!" Did I shout that? Or was it the thing in front of me?
I had looked at the alarm clock. I swore quietly. It was only 6:00, another 50 minutes before the it should have rang. It was far too early for this. I didn't need a scare before starting school (as if school was already daunting enough). I sank back into my pillow, as me breath began to slow down again. Closing my eyes, I tried to recall some of the horrors that had plagued me. Like any sane human, I tried to start at the beginning...
That smile again. And that glow.
My eyes snapped open again. It was that girl. I frowned - it was a strange coincidence that she would have been in my dreams. Dreams, for me, rarely repeat themselves again.
That swaying tree next to a stone building. Nearby was another building, only it was cleaner... more modern. Other people in a dull green uniform milled about, talking and constantly moving.
I snorted here. I was dreaming of school. Give me a break... I've already seen enough of it for 6 hours a day, 5 days a week. And sometimes longer now that I'm in Year 12. So... that dream girl had came to the same school as me. What possible interpretations can I possibly gleam from that? It sure would be literally a dream come true... if it was true.
We were walking quietly along a familiar pathway. Faces that were seen everyday were content in their usual business. The girl and I were talking...
...about what? I stared at the darkened ceiling, hoping to glean something from it. What had made us both laugh so happily? So freely...
We rounded to corner to the PAC - the performing arts centre. It was a large building - formerly a gym as my wood teacher had told me once upon a time. Now, it was the hangout of the drama kids. I rolled my eyes at some of their antics as we passed by. Surely throwing random stuff at each other for the thousandth time should have gotten hold. And yet...
Nice dodge, I thought smirking, as a classmate called Raf managed to avoid a sandwich that was thrown from near point-blank range. This thought-by-thought process was taking longer than I anticipated. Everything was familiar. Nothing to suggest why I woke up with such a scare.
The path back to the canteen was once again the same. The same kids. The same chairs. Even the same sense of sheer boredom that was somehow ignored as I was pulled in by the mystery of the girl next to me. More talking. I looked casually to the right and saw the wood room glaring back.
Surely the wood room can't be the source of my nightmares. A madman running out with a chainsaw would be almost comical, if not outright normal (ok, I'm lying - I would be shitting myself, but my friends have already made up too much conspiracies about the wood room for anything to truly surprise me in Dream world). Ah Year 7, good times...
We were at the canteen now. And yet we kept moving. We turned right, passing the toilets and its eternal stench. We were moving back to the common room - where everybody else awaited. Something ancient stirred inside me... and indescribable fear began to strangle me.
The common room... what was so scary about it? Surely there can't be anything worse than the stains inside the microwave (I've seriously got to stop this joking). That's it... it had been too quiet. Especially given how ridiculously loud we Year 12's are.
My hand hesitated on the door handle.
"Is something wrong?" the girl asked. Not wanting to disappoint her, I shook my head and put on an assuring smile before opening the door to the realms of nightmare.
We both froze in terror as everything in the room turned to us as we walked in. Everybody was now nightmare incarnate. Bloodied eyes that were nothing more than gaping red holes in their face. Mouths that were unnaturally big, each threatening to consume anything and everything, eternally held in a terrible grin. Claws had replaced hands... claws that threatened to tear a person's soul out, souls that were soon ripe for consummation.
A person rose out of their chair. In their hands were a sharpened cleaver that still held the blood of its last victim.
"Join us..." the creature breathed.
The rate of my breathing increased again. I felt blood rushing to my legs, carrying vital supplies of oxygen that would allow me to get the fuck out of my mind.
"It's all fake," I repeated in a mantra to myself. "It's all fake."
I got up and turned on the light. Looking into the mirror, I saw a pale faced person staring back. In his eyes, the dream continued...
"Leave us alone!" I shouted. Everybody in the room mimicked me, creating an eerie chorus that grated on my ears. Grabbing the girl's arm, we turned around... only to see there was no door. Then an explosion of pain came.
I fell to the floor, paralyzed. A syringe dropped next to me. A paralyzer... got to give these creatures credit for that, if I wasn't absolutely hoping this would all go away. The creatures rolled me over, as the lead creature stoked its cleaver, its grin never wavering. It moved the sharp side of the blade closer... and closer... to my eyes. I struggled to no avail. Then... the blade descended.
Colours. Never thought I would appreciate them so much. The nightmare had ended. For now.
2011-05-11
Ok, so this is my first post I guess. Im a writer, by personal assosiation not any sort of official justification, and I'm currently working on my first book. Adam is a good friend and it seems that he, along with my other friends on here subtley (and somewhat accidentally) coaxed me into joining the blog.
In the future I think that I'll post some stuff that I've written and I hope I can get some feedback from anyone who reads us.
Cheers, Blake.
In the future I think that I'll post some stuff that I've written and I hope I can get some feedback from anyone who reads us.
Cheers, Blake.
Clearing thy 'teeming brain'
Written on my hand is
Thur after-school lit
Brian Ex Book
Math's Sac
I know what all of it means except for the bit about brian. I don't know any Brian's.. So as Adam said, school's been pretty average, though being at school with Adam has been getting further and further from what average usually is. These dreams are effecting him man, he says he's okay with not sleeping now because of the nightmares, i know that's the case, but it's not just that he's okay with not sleeping, he's afraid of it, of the nightmares.
Every day, i swear he comes to school looking slightly more tired than the day before, he fell asleep in History the other day, i know History isn't the greatest subject, but Adam's usually pretty alert, all the time.. He wants to do well in year 12, and if he doesn't stop sleeping, i don't know what's going to happen to his VCE..
I've been contemplating what to do after VCE and my mind seems to really want me for some reason to put all the effort i've put in to VCE to waste and pick up an apprenticeship as an electrician, i don't know what drew me to that, i guess it seems like the apprenticeship with the least amount of phisical strain to be put on my body, because i'm not exactly what you'd call a tank.
This whole electrician thing is pissing me off though because I feel like if i do that, then my enter score will go to complete waste, and i'm not even sure i really want to do it because if I did, i wouldn't be trying to get a good enter score (university entry score), i'd just be looking for an apprenticeship and trying to pass year 12, which of course I still want to do.
I just don't know what I want to do with my life, there are so many things and i'm yet to find anything that i'm 100% passionate about whatever happens, and i really want to find that, whatever it is.
I'm going to be keeping an eye on Adam, I think the others are too, his psychiatrist has given him some pills so he can sleep at night, but they don't seem to be having any effect on his alertness in class or just how tired he looks in general, what can I really do though? I'm not going to force him to take them if he's not and if he is and they aren't working, what else can we do?
I talked about this with Adam today,
he said it's okay if i post this, and that this is what the blog is supposed to be about,
how we're feeling, well i'm worried man, you gotta keep thinking about the future man...
Good Luck Adam,
Shaun.
Thur after-school lit
Brian Ex Book
Math's Sac
I know what all of it means except for the bit about brian. I don't know any Brian's.. So as Adam said, school's been pretty average, though being at school with Adam has been getting further and further from what average usually is. These dreams are effecting him man, he says he's okay with not sleeping now because of the nightmares, i know that's the case, but it's not just that he's okay with not sleeping, he's afraid of it, of the nightmares.
Every day, i swear he comes to school looking slightly more tired than the day before, he fell asleep in History the other day, i know History isn't the greatest subject, but Adam's usually pretty alert, all the time.. He wants to do well in year 12, and if he doesn't stop sleeping, i don't know what's going to happen to his VCE..
I've been contemplating what to do after VCE and my mind seems to really want me for some reason to put all the effort i've put in to VCE to waste and pick up an apprenticeship as an electrician, i don't know what drew me to that, i guess it seems like the apprenticeship with the least amount of phisical strain to be put on my body, because i'm not exactly what you'd call a tank.
This whole electrician thing is pissing me off though because I feel like if i do that, then my enter score will go to complete waste, and i'm not even sure i really want to do it because if I did, i wouldn't be trying to get a good enter score (university entry score), i'd just be looking for an apprenticeship and trying to pass year 12, which of course I still want to do.
I just don't know what I want to do with my life, there are so many things and i'm yet to find anything that i'm 100% passionate about whatever happens, and i really want to find that, whatever it is.
I'm going to be keeping an eye on Adam, I think the others are too, his psychiatrist has given him some pills so he can sleep at night, but they don't seem to be having any effect on his alertness in class or just how tired he looks in general, what can I really do though? I'm not going to force him to take them if he's not and if he is and they aren't working, what else can we do?
I talked about this with Adam today,
he said it's okay if i post this, and that this is what the blog is supposed to be about,
how we're feeling, well i'm worried man, you gotta keep thinking about the future man...
Good Luck Adam,
Shaun.
2011-05-10
Birthday
So. Today's my birthday. I turn 18 today. Be legal standard I'm an adult, I can make my own choice. Brilliant. I can now go out to clubs and pubs. Well, legally... Yeah. Anyway, reasons to stay out late and not sleep. I'm good with anything right now. Just not sleep.
So, sorry we haven't posted in a few day. As a group we've been quite busy. School SAC (which for those who don't know is "School Assed Coursework", another excuse to put pressure on as already suicidally depressed students) I have mine tomorrow. So that should be fun. I'm going to try chewing scenery, with the hangover I get from tonight.
So far my 18th year has been pretty sweet, you know, other than the general terrifying nightmares, it's been cool. I've spent a lot of time catching up with my past. I've gotten to re-know a lot of my old childhood friends. Which is totally awesome. I also went back to my old pizza store (they still make amazing pizzza), rewatched alot of childhood films (I haven't seen The Lion King in 8 years, I'm pretty sure that's a federal crime), went to the park where my know deceased-grandmother and I used to go. My 18th year really has been just me reliving bits of my past. Which, too is totally awesome as well.
So yeah. Short of nightmares, 18 has been an awesome year.
So, sorry we haven't posted in a few day. As a group we've been quite busy. School SAC (which for those who don't know is "School Assed Coursework", another excuse to put pressure on as already suicidally depressed students) I have mine tomorrow. So that should be fun. I'm going to try chewing scenery, with the hangover I get from tonight.
So far my 18th year has been pretty sweet, you know, other than the general terrifying nightmares, it's been cool. I've spent a lot of time catching up with my past. I've gotten to re-know a lot of my old childhood friends. Which is totally awesome. I also went back to my old pizza store (they still make amazing pizzza), rewatched alot of childhood films (I haven't seen The Lion King in 8 years, I'm pretty sure that's a federal crime), went to the park where my know deceased-grandmother and I used to go. My 18th year really has been just me reliving bits of my past. Which, too is totally awesome as well.
So yeah. Short of nightmares, 18 has been an awesome year.
2011-05-08
...
How do I start this? I guess I should say something about my dream. I mean, these are one of the main reasons I created this blog.
This time. This time it was to real. Maybe. This time I wasn't alone in that car park. There was this other woman there. She had fallen to the ground and before her stood those people. The ones with the surgical masks and glasses.
The woman looked up at it and then it reached down towards her. I couldn't see what it was reaching for. I was standing far away behind her, but it reached and then she screamed this brutal cry of anguish and then she fell to the ground and blood began to splatter to the ground. Her body began to shake and she tried to crawel away randomly grabbing at the ground.
And it now held something in it's hands. Two circular objects. I couldn't make out what they were properly but I think...
Oh god. It was her eyes.
It pulled out her eyes.
And then it turned towards me. Just it's head at first. And then it's body seemed to just rotate, following the direction of it's head.
And then it began walk.
And I began to run.
And I don't remember anything else.
This time. This time it was to real. Maybe. This time I wasn't alone in that car park. There was this other woman there. She had fallen to the ground and before her stood those people. The ones with the surgical masks and glasses.
The woman looked up at it and then it reached down towards her. I couldn't see what it was reaching for. I was standing far away behind her, but it reached and then she screamed this brutal cry of anguish and then she fell to the ground and blood began to splatter to the ground. Her body began to shake and she tried to crawel away randomly grabbing at the ground.
And it now held something in it's hands. Two circular objects. I couldn't make out what they were properly but I think...
Oh god. It was her eyes.
It pulled out her eyes.
And then it turned towards me. Just it's head at first. And then it's body seemed to just rotate, following the direction of it's head.
And then it began walk.
And I began to run.
And I don't remember anything else.
A new week (great...)
Looking on my timetable, I've realized that half my classes at school are cancelled. Sounds like good news, right? It's not. Reading between the lines, I'm guessing that I'm going to get about as much work as I did back during the Easter break, and boy, that was a lot. Spares = a break? Don't make me laugh. It will be like dangling Mass Effect 3 in front of Adam's face and then proceeding to snap it in half. Before burning BioWare to the ground. Then creating a virus to attack all of the data on every ME3 disc so ME3 is deleted from existence (alright, I'm kidding. I'll be too dead to do anything else after snapping the disc). In other words, stop promising me something good... and THEN TAKE IT ALL AWAY AND BURY ME UNDER ALL THE FUC(oh wait, no bad words in case my snark hasn't already burn away the innocent minds of little kids who are reading the blog - wait who is reading the blog anyway?)**** HOMEWORK!
Okay, now for me to crap on about something else. Uh... right your nightmares, Adam. Are you taking any type of medications(probably not)? Or were you busy playing some wacked up horror game or watching some kind of horror movie? (you're a zombie fan and then there's the case of Amnesia...) Reading Dracula might also be an ignition for a nightmare (right... assuming Ms. Meyer hasn't finished vampires by, you know, turning them all into sparking, pale stalkers - all of which leads to vampires becoming nightmare retardant as opposed to your nightmare fuel. But this is Dracula...). Ah well, hoped you slept well anyway (I doubt it. I really do.), otherwise go and see your psychiatrist, and get that nightmare thing of yours treated, or you could really be driven off the edge. No, I don't care if she has a massive pole stuck up her... well, just go see her anyway.
Better get going now... all of that homework is just waiting to bury me alive - gotta start burying them instead. Maybe fire's the better option. Or a pen - 'cause I clearly don't want detentions to ruin my clean record (my family will skin me alive - in case I didn't have enough incentive).
P.S. Good luck with your girl, Shaun (you'll be needing it - no wait! Don't hit me!). No seriously, best of luck!
Okay, now for me to crap on about something else. Uh... right your nightmares, Adam. Are you taking any type of medications(probably not)? Or were you busy playing some wacked up horror game or watching some kind of horror movie? (you're a zombie fan and then there's the case of Amnesia...) Reading Dracula might also be an ignition for a nightmare (right... assuming Ms. Meyer hasn't finished vampires by, you know, turning them all into sparking, pale stalkers - all of which leads to vampires becoming nightmare retardant as opposed to your nightmare fuel. But this is Dracula...). Ah well, hoped you slept well anyway (I doubt it. I really do.), otherwise go and see your psychiatrist, and get that nightmare thing of yours treated, or you could really be driven off the edge. No, I don't care if she has a massive pole stuck up her... well, just go see her anyway.
Better get going now... all of that homework is just waiting to bury me alive - gotta start burying them instead. Maybe fire's the better option. Or a pen - 'cause I clearly don't want detentions to ruin my clean record (my family will skin me alive - in case I didn't have enough incentive).
P.S. Good luck with your girl, Shaun (you'll be needing it - no wait! Don't hit me!). No seriously, best of luck!
So i met a girl tonight..
So yeah, i met a girl tonight, she's pretty awesome but i wish we got to talk more...
Her name is Julia and she used to skate, when she said that i absoloutly shat bricks.. when girls talk about anything that i'm interested in i pretty much shit bricks because, well, even though I may seem like a bit of a player in my blog (lol jokes brah!), i'm not really.
I'm really shy, I'm only really good friends with guys, so anytime chicks are into anything i'm into, i pretty much develope feelings for them.. which kinda sucks because a lot of the time, it either leads to nothing or I just don't talk to them in the first place.
But yeah... i talked to Julia, for a fairly long time... and she laughed at some of my jokes, which are reaaaalllyyy terrible... she goes to a catholic school and she was talking about religeous education and how at her school they have to write essay's on the bible and such and i made some crack about how in my essay i would talk about how "the bible can be found in the fiction section at the library" and she laughed.. and it pretty much caused me enough joy to explode..
Okay.. so you may have realised i've had a little to drink right now.. that's because i have.. but still.. i like you julia, if you're reading this.. :). I probably shouldn't be blogging right now but whatever.. Adam, your dreams are fucked... you need to get fixed.. that's why i'm glad you're seeing a psychiatrist.. don't be so god damned scared of going to sleep and just have regular dreams and you'll be fine.. i know that you have scary dreams but if you stop having them and start having regular dreams you will be fine :D
Sincerely, lol jokes, adam, your friend SHAAAUUNNNOOOOOOOO
Her name is Julia and she used to skate, when she said that i absoloutly shat bricks.. when girls talk about anything that i'm interested in i pretty much shit bricks because, well, even though I may seem like a bit of a player in my blog (lol jokes brah!), i'm not really.
I'm really shy, I'm only really good friends with guys, so anytime chicks are into anything i'm into, i pretty much develope feelings for them.. which kinda sucks because a lot of the time, it either leads to nothing or I just don't talk to them in the first place.
But yeah... i talked to Julia, for a fairly long time... and she laughed at some of my jokes, which are reaaaalllyyy terrible... she goes to a catholic school and she was talking about religeous education and how at her school they have to write essay's on the bible and such and i made some crack about how in my essay i would talk about how "the bible can be found in the fiction section at the library" and she laughed.. and it pretty much caused me enough joy to explode..
Okay.. so you may have realised i've had a little to drink right now.. that's because i have.. but still.. i like you julia, if you're reading this.. :). I probably shouldn't be blogging right now but whatever.. Adam, your dreams are fucked... you need to get fixed.. that's why i'm glad you're seeing a psychiatrist.. don't be so god damned scared of going to sleep and just have regular dreams and you'll be fine.. i know that you have scary dreams but if you stop having them and start having regular dreams you will be fine :D
Sincerely, lol jokes, adam, your friend SHAAAUUNNNOOOOOOOO
2011-05-07
HMS Pinafore
So. Today I've been kind of obsessed with Gilbert and Sullivan. By the way, I should mention that although I generally hate opera's I love HMS Pinafore. It's such a catchy... thing. I've been trying to memorise Modern Major General, which is increadibly hard and really serves me no point at all.
Today also, I've been listening to Smashing Pumpkins... there pretty cool, though I still prefer System of a Down for my punk/metal/hard rock genre oh and Dropkick Murphies to just bounce around to.
Went to Borders (the book store for those who don't know), the one at Highpoint Mall is closing down and so I got a bunch of books for increadibly cheap. Arthur C Clark, Richard Morgan, Richard Dean Foster, Joe Haldeman. I might read Joe Haldeman first. The Forever Triliogy. Sounds good.
Which reminds me, I finish reading Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep. I must say, Phillip K Dick is an amazing author. Electric Sheep has to be one of my favorite books ever, actually it's strongely contending Dracula for my favorite book. I should also re-read Dracula. So many books, so little time to read them.
Okay, honestly, I wasn't going to do a blog post today. Nor tomorrow, however tonight is my weekly Car Park nightmare night and I'm just looking for several reasons to procrastinate so I don't go to bed and sleep.
I don't think I'm going to last the night awake.
It's odd, but I'm actually afraid to go to bed.
I'm really, very scared.
Today also, I've been listening to Smashing Pumpkins... there pretty cool, though I still prefer System of a Down for my punk/metal/hard rock genre oh and Dropkick Murphies to just bounce around to.
Went to Borders (the book store for those who don't know), the one at Highpoint Mall is closing down and so I got a bunch of books for increadibly cheap. Arthur C Clark, Richard Morgan, Richard Dean Foster, Joe Haldeman. I might read Joe Haldeman first. The Forever Triliogy. Sounds good.
Which reminds me, I finish reading Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep. I must say, Phillip K Dick is an amazing author. Electric Sheep has to be one of my favorite books ever, actually it's strongely contending Dracula for my favorite book. I should also re-read Dracula. So many books, so little time to read them.
Okay, honestly, I wasn't going to do a blog post today. Nor tomorrow, however tonight is my weekly Car Park nightmare night and I'm just looking for several reasons to procrastinate so I don't go to bed and sleep.
I don't think I'm going to last the night awake.
It's odd, but I'm actually afraid to go to bed.
I'm really, very scared.
2011-05-06
Final Light
I think it was her smile that first captured me. It wasn't hinting anything, just a gentle one that promised that the world would be a perfect place. It was hard to not to smile back as all earthly chains are cast off, and worries and doubt are nothing but a sad memory of the past. This girl... or was it an angel? A goddess? It wouldn't be an exaggeration with her eyes, her hair... Who am I kidding? How do you describe an unearthly perfection? A perfection that was born from the high heavens and untainted by the sins and fears of mankind.
I remembered that I had never approached her. Why? I think it was because I was a coward, forever hiding behind the shadows of my friends and above all, fearing rejection. Worse, this was all in a dream. God, I'm such a loser...
Upon waking up, a myriad of emotions had hit me. Contentment at having been in the presence of this eternally beautiful girl. Hopeless longing touched and consumed me as I realized that such perfection was forever out of my reach.
Just what do you do after a dream like that? Do you go on cursing the world for being such a dark and cruel place after being exposed to something so divine? Or do you silently make a pledge and hope to bring the light out again?
Whatever. That all sounded pretty cheesy, and probably what you would find in a cheap romance novel. But then again... I suppose we should just look up and remain positive and hope we all get there to the end.
P.S. Don't worry, there will be more snark next time. I haven't died. Yet.
P.P.S. Oh wait. More whinging alert. I remembered something about the people that we see in our dreams - how none of them are made up, and they're simply faces we've seen somewhere, but blast it, the chances of ever finding that girl is slim. And Adam, if I was you, I'll be careful about that figure in your nightmare. I would hate it if he existed.
I remembered that I had never approached her. Why? I think it was because I was a coward, forever hiding behind the shadows of my friends and above all, fearing rejection. Worse, this was all in a dream. God, I'm such a loser...
Upon waking up, a myriad of emotions had hit me. Contentment at having been in the presence of this eternally beautiful girl. Hopeless longing touched and consumed me as I realized that such perfection was forever out of my reach.
Just what do you do after a dream like that? Do you go on cursing the world for being such a dark and cruel place after being exposed to something so divine? Or do you silently make a pledge and hope to bring the light out again?
Whatever. That all sounded pretty cheesy, and probably what you would find in a cheap romance novel. But then again...
P.S. Don't worry, there will be more snark next time. I haven't died. Yet.
P.P.S. Oh wait. More whinging alert. I remembered something about the people that we see in our dreams - how none of them are made up, and they're simply faces we've seen somewhere, but blast it, the chances of ever finding that girl is slim. And Adam, if I was you, I'll be careful about that figure in your nightmare. I would hate it if he existed.
Ode to Kenny
Where does the word Keatsian hail from, oh dear Sir Kenny
did it form in your own inner mind, this seemingly self-crafted word
Where is the word Duffian, in this dictionary of ours i find not any
though neither of this Keatsian word, i have merely heard
The inner workings of your mind bewilder me great mentor
For poetry is not only not my forte, but confuses me immensely
the feeling of a whale in the middle of Wollongong, far from it's place in the world
the words take on new meaning as you study them intensely
flying from the page, to my ear, they are hurled
Somehow taking on meaning in some of our minds, we study it and explore it
Viewing it indeed, as a beautifully sounding stanza, but still meaning nothing to me as i sit.
My true poetry talents, thank you all. take that Adam, my poetry is worse than yours!
did it form in your own inner mind, this seemingly self-crafted word
Where is the word Duffian, in this dictionary of ours i find not any
though neither of this Keatsian word, i have merely heard
The inner workings of your mind bewilder me great mentor
For poetry is not only not my forte, but confuses me immensely
the feeling of a whale in the middle of Wollongong, far from it's place in the world
the words take on new meaning as you study them intensely
flying from the page, to my ear, they are hurled
Somehow taking on meaning in some of our minds, we study it and explore it
Viewing it indeed, as a beautifully sounding stanza, but still meaning nothing to me as i sit.
My true poetry talents, thank you all. take that Adam, my poetry is worse than yours!
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