Oh wow. Seriously, I had forgotten about this place. God knows it ended up useless. Yeah, nightmares and stuff have been in recession, hell, since I had to focus on my end of year exams I haven't had much time for thinking (I know that sounds moronic, but in all honesty, it's true exams+ thinking don't work).
So yeah, here I am now, thanks the Ed for reminding me of this. And I've thought of a use for it as well, now that I kind of don't need.
Firstly, thought. I must say I am sick of pandering to people anymore. For that reason, I've removed everyone but Ed from the blog posters list. I kind of forced them into this and they haven't touched the blog in a while, so no real point.
Anyway, moving on from that. I've decided to use this blog to write a story. Basically, me and Ed as he mention, are going to do a group write here. It should be fun, though we have no idea what to write about.
On a further notice....
Wow this blog turned out to be useless.
Adam
2011-12-08
A new Chapter
Well.. it's been six months since Adam's problem. He's been slowly recovering, jsut as the rest of us have since we finished VCE. And yeah, we procrastinated real good for this blog and life in general.
Anyway, this blog has truly died down... and I'm now using it for my own neferious purposes. I suppose. Well, Adam has always expressed interest in doing a group-write, so I might as well start us off, unless he has a better idea (which he's bound to...)
Anyway, this blog has truly died down... and I'm now using it for my own neferious purposes. I suppose. Well, Adam has always expressed interest in doing a group-write, so I might as well start us off, unless he has a better idea (which he's bound to...)
2011-06-28
To fall back to old habits
There I was. Standing in the centre of the ocean. Lost in thought. Floating above a school of fish I just stood there. Standing on the ocean, waiting for it to swallow me whole. Or, not.
Sorry for the month long delay of posting or what not. Been busy, but I also didn't find a need to post. The dreams had receded back into a oblivion for some time now.
So I stopped taking that pill like the other day and the first thing that happened was this really odd dream. Not a nightmare mind you, this was beautiful, so serene.
And when I awoke, I was standing on the ocean. Looking into the see. Where I saw a beating heart, under a school of fish. I watched it as it moved up and down and a calmness swept over me.
And then I was somewhere else.
And
Where there was Silence, I found music. Where there were nightmares I found dreams. Where there was despair, I found hope. I saw the truth in all lies, the light hiding in the darkness. And when I was met with pain, I knew it wouldn't last, so I waited for the serenity to arrive again.
Sorry for the month long delay of posting or what not. Been busy, but I also didn't find a need to post. The dreams had receded back into a oblivion for some time now.
So I stopped taking that pill like the other day and the first thing that happened was this really odd dream. Not a nightmare mind you, this was beautiful, so serene.
And when I awoke, I was standing on the ocean. Looking into the see. Where I saw a beating heart, under a school of fish. I watched it as it moved up and down and a calmness swept over me.
And then I was somewhere else.
And
Where there was Silence, I found music. Where there were nightmares I found dreams. Where there was despair, I found hope. I saw the truth in all lies, the light hiding in the darkness. And when I was met with pain, I knew it wouldn't last, so I waited for the serenity to arrive again.
2011-05-23
Awoken from Reality.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. ~Albert Einstein
I couldn't take it anymore. My body was beginning to fall apart. I needed sleep so I started taking those pills.
And now I'm sleeping. But it's not the right kind of sleep.
I'm missing something. I know I didn't want to have nightmares, but now I just don't dream. And that just feels wrong. It feels as if I'm missing something, loosing something really important.
The basic thing is. Now I just feel vulnerable. The pills put me into a deep sleep where I don't dream or feels. I'm just cut of from reality or imagination. As if I'm in some limbo.
Or maybe that's my new nightmare, to be stuck somewhere between reality and imagination.
Or maybe, just maybe, everything is fake.
And I'm just not willing to accept what really is reality.
‘Cause the reality I may find when I do finally wake up from my reality isn’t safe or happy or acceptable. It’s just supernatural.
It’s also not something I can define. No, that’s wrong, I can define it, I can use all the words in the English language to give it the largest most complex definition possible, but that won’t be enough. Because as much I as can see it, I can’t comprehend and so my definition ultimately becomes meaningless.
So how do I begin to understand it?
Do I go searching for it? Or just open my eyes wider.
And what if my nightmares come back to hunt me.
Where do I go from there?
Missed me?
I know I keep harping on about it - but boy, all that homework and SAC's that are given out in the last year of secondary education (I'm not sure what the American equivalent is... and yes, I'm aware that there are readers from America - and no, I refuse to switch from my British/ Australian English to American English. Confused, yet?) is CRAZY! I mean, come on... we get around 4 hours of homework... nightly, and are expected to chuck several more hours on top to study for the exams that are coming up (yeah... our exam and holiday periods are weird). Anyway, that would explain why I haven't showed up on this blog for a while. 'Procrastinating' right now seems like the worse idea possible. But hey, I'm a 17 year old teenager... it's expected that I procrastinate.
Melbourne's weather... it's becoming even more sullen... like some angsty teenager who can't decide between mood-swings. Last week has been nothing fierece winds, and falling rain (well sorry if I can't make it anymore poetic... you get the Literature kids for that). And the nights are bloody freezing. The best part? We haven't hit winter yet, so it can only get worse.
Anyhow, Adam's problems seem to be worsening - and that's a bad thing with the exams coming up. He seemed even more jumpy at school, and his temper is quickly deteriorating. I'm no psychologist, but even I can see something is wrong. His recent blogs have constantly mentioned nightmares - they must be severe ones if they can disable anybody like that. I've had my share of nightmares, but even so... this can't be good. However, recently he has started taking sleeping pills - with his mind-set though... is this such a good thing? Whatever, I can only comment as a friend, and unfortunately, not as a professional. Hope those nightmares will stop soon (brrr... I'm still getting shivers from your post and my recent nightmare) and that you will fully recover.
P.S. I really don't think drinking alcohol will stop the nightmares. No seriously. Put down that beer bottole. Now.
Melbourne's weather... it's becoming even more sullen... like some angsty teenager who can't decide between mood-swings. Last week has been nothing fierece winds, and falling rain (well sorry if I can't make it anymore poetic... you get the Literature kids for that). And the nights are bloody freezing. The best part? We haven't hit winter yet, so it can only get worse.
Anyhow, Adam's problems seem to be worsening - and that's a bad thing with the exams coming up. He seemed even more jumpy at school, and his temper is quickly deteriorating. I'm no psychologist, but even I can see something is wrong. His recent blogs have constantly mentioned nightmares - they must be severe ones if they can disable anybody like that. I've had my share of nightmares, but even so... this can't be good. However, recently he has started taking sleeping pills - with his mind-set though... is this such a good thing? Whatever, I can only comment as a friend, and unfortunately, not as a professional. Hope those nightmares will stop soon (brrr... I'm still getting shivers from your post and my recent nightmare) and that you will fully recover.
P.S. I really don't think drinking alcohol will stop the nightmares. No seriously. Put down that beer bottole. Now.
2011-05-21
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)